Moving in with your boyfriend or girlfried: How to
Geplaatst op 19-06-2024
Categorie: Lifestyle
A good friend of mine recently moved in with her boyfriend. We had a great discussion over cocktails the other night about the pros and cons of living with your significant other. Statistics show that couples who co-habitate before marriage have a slightly higher chance of getting divorced. However, new research suggests that these statistics could be skewed.for a number of reasons. One of the biggest reasons experts think that prior statistics might not paint an accurate picture take into account religious beliefs: some couples will not co-habitate before marriage because it is against their religion; these same couples will remain married even if miserable, due to the fact that their religion prohibits divorce. However, ignoring statistical trends about long-term relationship success, experts agree on several points when it comes to premarital cohabitation.
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First, never move in with a significant other simply because of financial reasons. It is very difficult to live with another person (if you don’t believe me, think back to your college roommates: how many of them did you remain friends with?!). Thus, you really need to want to spend all of your time with your partner before you decide to move in with him or her. You’ll need to be sure that you love this person enough to want to remain in a relationship even when all of his/her bad qualities come to light (and they will: there’s no where to hide these negative traits when you are living with another person).
Second, you will want to make sure you have a plan to deal with financial issues. Figure out how you will divide housing and utility costs, and who will be in charge of paying bills. Also keep in mind that you will want some sort of contingency plan should you or your partner lose their job or experience other financial difficulties. One of the top three reasons that couples split is due to financial issues; thus, have a game plan ahead of time to avoid any unnecessary struggles.
Third, you need to respect each other’s space. It’s unhealthy to spend all of your time with one person, and you need to not only spend time with your own friends, but also spend time by yourself. However, in romantic relationships, you run the risk of offending your partner if you tell him or her you want to be by yourself. Thus, you should discuss alone-time in advance, to make sure that both partners understand that neither one of them is doing something wrong by requesting to be alone. Likewise, if your partner wants some alone time, you shouldn’t feel offended or force him or her to spend time with you instead.
Finally, you need to have pre-set rules about chores. Even if you and your partner are best friends, at one point or another you are bound to get annoyed because he/she left the dishes in the sink, or failed to replace the toilet paper roll after using it up. Thus, you need to discuss what things really bother you, and what things you are flexible about. This way each partner will understand what he or she needs to do in order to avoid really upsetting the other person. Dividing up chores ahead of time, as well as discussing pet peeves, will help reduce the amount of arguments you find yourself getting into with your partner.